Wednesday, November 22, 2006

Naked Ladies...

Yeah, I knew that would catch someone's attention. PERV! Well, this is about nudity of sorts, I'm going to post my first moments of up close and personal airbrush action. My first masterpiece is on a big cardboard box, my friend painted some flame outlines and a '3' in black when he was showing me how to spray and add paint to the gun. I did the rest of the work, just goofing around, added color, made a flame stencil I used in the lower left corner-looks dorky but I was playing...it was a blast!



Where is the nudity? Well, I'm not one of those who sits at their computer in the buff, though I know a few who are...all men strangely enough, and that is terrain I refuse to explore, thus preserving my innocence and our friendship. I wonder how an anonymous poll would turn out on that subject? Do I reallllly want to know? No. Let's forage ahead, shall we?

The little vintage cowgirl image is taken from a Jerry Thompson pinup calendar from 1954 which was my reference material for the lower images you will see if you are not lazy and scroll down.


It's a poor image, yes I know, quit complaining. It was the only online reference I was able to scare up for you. Squint at it and it looks better. There you go.


Here is a picture of my second time using the airbrush...well, it's a compilation of a few weeks of fits and starts with them (I say 'them' because I broke the first one, the second one I didn't like and I finally ended up finishing off with a brand new brush direct from the Taiwan factory).
It was painted on a wrecked auto hood, and wass only for practice to see if I could use an airbrush, photos taken right after I added some really bad blond hair, also before I redid her face for the 4th time. She was one fugly lil buckerette there for a while. I was able to airbrush contours on her face but not do detail such as eyes, nostril and mouth, so those I did with a traditional hair brush, each eye is half the size of a fat ladybug. I guess it is possible to do detail that minute with an airbrush, but you won't be seeing any from me for a while.


The above picture is more true to the actual color, the hat and shoe are a light lavender, the hood is fire engine red. The next picture darker than the actual image by quite a few shades, the light switch is left so you can use it for scale. The hair is NOT FINISHED, in fact it's not really started, what you see is not there, it is an illusion. I'm getting tips from seasoned veterans of the airbrush war, which should help me immensely, if not all my pinups and animals will be bald, perhaps start a new trend. Bald can be tres sexxxeee!


Some detail of the face. Before you go getting all worked up, that is NOT her boob to the left of her left arm, it is only a glare spot from the flash. Nice try though. PERV.



I am guessing her face is less than an inch high, so cut me some slack on my inability to use an airbrush to paint the entire thing. Dammitall you are a purist, perhaps if you ceased hounding me I could get some practice in. Go away and go put some clothes on for God's sake.

Sunday, November 19, 2006

Back In The Day...



I think it was February 2002 I saw Jimmie Johnson when I lived in Daytona Beach, I had just moved there a few months previous and thought this was a common occurence, I suppose, perhaps not, it's my only defense. Lowe's had him set up outside their Ormond Beach (little town at the north end of Daytona) store on Grenada Blvd. with his race car. I was with my new boyfriend's mom, so I couldn't check Jimmie out without her seeing me and OMG I AM I EVER KICKING MYSELF NOW!!! What a colossal dumbass I can be. Jimmie was self consciously standing around in his driving gear, with a few people walking up asking him questions. I was more interested in the car if you can believe that, it was the first up close encounter I had with a NASCAR vehicle, so I was smitten though I didn't break stride on our way to the store. What stands out to this day is that it had pink lug nuts. Geeeeehawd I am such a doofus.

Yeah, I'm friggen loony, great cars have always turned my head, since I was a wee tot. Gorgeous men have always done the same, and Jimmie is one of the rare one's I would call wildly handsome, I'd have taken him AND his car! Hindsight being what it is, I'd have scooped the then-single Mr. Johnson up and carried him to my lair, boyfriend, boyfriend's mom or no. Brian (the 'then' boyfriend, now ex) was always terrified I was going to run off with Dale Jr.

anyway, I might just as well have added Jimmie to my harem. I could have collected NASCAR drivers for a hobby...and I just love that picture of Tony with his crooked smile, cracks me up. He's a cutie, but doesn't he own monkeys or something?

CONGRATULATIONS JIMMIE JOHNSON ON THE 2006 NEXTEL CHAMPIONSHIP!

Way to go JIMMIE!!!

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

One Good Thing About Winter

is this: I spend way too much time on the computer, so I run across cool sites like this one.
http://www.flashpuzzlezone.com/jigsaw/people/sports/
Check out the warp feature on the racer pix, I mutated Gordo into a gnome, poor chap, I hope his bride doesn't mind too awfully much.

Hmm.....it's 9 p.m., I want to be out walking but it's raining and I'm not waterproof. Be cool if we had oil spigots like ducks do-we could smear ourselves in grease so water would bead up or roll off of us like a Rain-Ex'd windshield, the grease would also insulate us from cold just as the Indians use to slather on bear grease in the winter to stay warm. Yes, they really did, and I'll wager time spent in the wigwam near the heat of a blazing fire would curl the nose hair of lesser individuals, especially when winter chose to drag on for a few extra weeks. Having built in oil spouts would make the chill of winter more tolerable, however, those long winter nights would most likely be spent scrubbing the resulting tub scum and double washing the grease spots off the laundry rather than curled up next to the fireplace sipping hot chocolate (with real marshmallows, big ones if they will fit in the cup, not those little dust specks that come premixed in some hot cocoa mixes) with our sweeties.

Ok, as of this writing I have no sweetie, though fetching one is on my to do list. There's this handsome chap who's caught my eye of late, they call him Kid Rock. Mysterious, no? Just for the record, the 'real' Kid Rock is terribly unattractive to me, there is no physical resemblance between the two or this vast stretch of blog sideroad would have been a dead end. They call 'my' guy Kid Rock because he usually dates drop-dead-gorgeous women. Where he unearths them in this god forsaken wench wasteland is anyones guess, as we are a homely lot here on the frontier, sturdy as Russian field hands. He and I have covertly stared at each other from across a crowded room on two different evenings. Alas, my vanity is in cahoots with what passes in my world as distance eyesight which makes it difficult to know if he is as hot as I seem to think he is, as I stubbornly refuse to wear glasses and can't find my carloads of disposable contact lenses misplaced in my move from Daytona. My sister assures me he is 'fricken HOT', though she is a compulsive liar so expecting her to utter anything remotely resembling the truth is sheer lunacy. I did get within a few inches of Mr. Rock once; we were playing pool on separate tables, but I forgot to pay attention so missed checking him out when he said something to me. I was concentrating on a shot and he was in my way, so I was distracted! Quit shaking your head at my blunder, and yes, I know you mentally called me a dumbass, I'm psychic you know, and distinctly heard you thinking it. I'm told he has a girlfriend, so there. I also heard he is carrying on an affair with a married woman, although I heard it from my sister who's not the greatest source of truth, as I've just told you, and sad to say, when she isn't lying she mucks up insignificant little things like who did what, or sequences of events, hurling them about with little regard for where they land or who trips over them, a superb reason not to believe gossip. Instead of stomping about in isolated mountain forests, she should be churning out fiction, capitalizing on her mischief and overdrawn memory banks.

No, I am NOT shy, not at all. That is NOT why I looked away when Kid Rock talked to me, why are you badgering me? No, that isn't it at all. It IS NOT! Ok, it is. I'm shy. Curses. How did you manage to drag that out of me, anyway? I'll have to be careful around you, you're a wily one, I can see that now.

Ahhh, daaaamn it all, I'm restless and bored, such a horrid place to be-lucky for me I have the ability to sometimes entertain myself with very little. Let's see here...oh, did I tell you I'm into psychology? Yes, I am sure I did somewhere here, you just didn't pay attention. For instance, I am mighty fond of the Keirsey book, "Please Understand Me II". Mr. Keirsey's first book on the subject, "Please Understand Me" was splendid of course but a sickly little ghost of his sequel. Mr. Keirsey one day apparently decided to quit fooling around and apply himself so he burst forth with a second edition where he finally gave it up, sharing the real meat and potatoes of personalities he'd been hoarding for himself all those years. That, or he is a slacker like me (awwww, that is SO CUTE of him!) and in an apparent fervor of condensed inspiration whipped up some profound insights into human nature.

Here, this is a site where you can do a little questionnaire to see what sort you are. PLEASE READ THE INSTRUCTIONS BEFORE TAKING THE TEST. They are brief but important; the test is pitifully simple to do so those of you with test anxiety, relax, pretend you get a million dollars when you are finished and see what gusto can be attained by imaginary money, which is a lesson in itself.
http://www.okcupid.com/tests/take?testid=16567335035599898597

Yes, yes, you already know who you are, I fully realize this, but it's so fun to show you that you aren't as individualized as you like to think, there are only 4 main types, Artisans, Guardians, Idealists and Rationals. Run along and play now... when you get done come back here and report to me what your type is, and if you think it is correct...why are you still here? I know you won't be able to resist the urge to peek at the type descriptions you can find by pecking at the keyboard and entering your 4 letter character into a search engine. I'm an ESTP, with brief interludes into the darker side of ISTP, but mainly I'm an E/I-STP, which if you read the descriptions explains a lot. You would see that I really AM quite sane, and that there are truckloads of others just like me roaming freely about the streets. Try to have a sound night's sleep with that information, will you. What are you still doing here? Scurry off now and take the damn test.

Ah, you've returned, the conquering hero. Interesting, wasn't it. I have the Keirsey book "Please Understand Me II" where he goes into great detail on each type, well worth the $15 I paid for it, even if the title is really wussy, what with that pleading undertone, but there you are. As with Betty McDonald's book "The Egg and I"-both works of genius once you pull back the whimpering coverlets, the titles of each are profound miscarriages of great literature.

On the brighter side of things, I would love to find out what each NASCAR driver's type is. If Keirsey is correct, many racer sorts are ESTP/ISTP's like myself. I always wanted to be a jet pilot or race car driver (or a mercenary, but that is a subject for another day), so either I'm stark raving mad or Keirsey is spot on (for the record I prefer the latter). It would be fun to get the personality breakdown for all drivers, as I'd like to compare success/skill/patience/forethought/aggression and such things per their records along with what that type is supposed to be acting like. Hurl a chartful (I just invented that word by the way) of Clance's Neptune, Jupiter, Mars and other assorted planetary monoliths on that seething heap and things would be quite entertaining! My guess is the majority of drivers are Guardian/Artisan, not just because they comprise roughly 80% of the population. Guardians are security minded so they will be the safe drivers, cautious and steady, making it to the checkered flag in whichever place, the turtles of life. The Artisans are the impulsive risk takers, the fly by the seat of their pants sorts, pushing skill and equipment to the max, who are in a hurry to get where they are going, the hares of this world. When they make it to the finish line, they are often ahead of the pack, though usually beat up and battered from their close shaves and aggressive frolic, like a tangled ball of playful puppies.

Lead, follow or get out of the way was my favorite saying since the first time I heard it, I am an Artisan through and through.

I Hate Winter.

I really, really do.

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

Evil Procrastinator

Yep, I should be out in the frigid shop wielding my ice cold airbrush with unbridled passion and deep devotion, but no, I am in here pecking away on my laptop, comfortably ensconced upon my 4 poster bed where it is warm and cozy, all so YOU dear reader may fulfill your voyeuristic urges. I'm afraid I have an inner big tease that demands I leave you here while I scamper off and do something constructive for a while.

Sunday, November 12, 2006

She Made Me Do This!

Clance did it, she really, really did. I never thought I'd have a blog, I mean, I've had a myspace account since January and only accessed it maybe 6 times because I kept forgetting my password and I could never keep a diary anyway because I'm just too damn lazy. Forgetful & Lazy=a great condensed bio. Ok, ok, I'm lying. I'm not really lazy, in fact I'm a little hyper if my mind isn't engaged in some fleeting fancy. So, I'm IM'ing with Clance from Church of the Great Oval, and she says, why not start a blog? My impulsive black heart said 'hey...why not?' What's a blog I'm wondering...oh heck, it's what Clance does! Yeah, yeah, I know, this isn't "like Clance's" blog, that girl is TALENTED, jeeeeeze. I'm merely a garden variety paint juggler, not an author, cut me some serious slack, ok??? I'll just be me here, yapping incessantly, privately wondering why you are still here reading the ramblings of a complete stranger. This could prove to be a bizarre little trip so buckle your Hanz device, slap on that helmet and lets hit da track!

Guess I should give you some background on me...I'm single in case any of my favorite NASCAR boys took a wrong turn at the track and ended up here, lost, alone and in need of...well, nevermind. I've always loved racing, as a little kid I had a bagful of matchbox cars I staged races with, on oval tracks or mountain hairpin corners I'd carved out of a dirt bank in the back yard. I watched NASCAR on tv just to see the cars go fast, the concept of tire and fuel strategy was far beyond me, I just liked fast cars. Then I discovered boys, so I perfected my love of fast cars to include fast men much to the dismay of my parents.

Over the years I went to drag races, dirt track races, hydroplane races and the like, the sound of the engines made my heart race and my adrenaline surge in a way Ted Bundy could only dream of. Somehow I landed for a brief time in Bakersfield, California. It was there in Feb. 2001 that I was watching the afternoon news when the reports of Dale Earnhardt's death at Daytona International Speedway was announced. I remember exactly where I was sitting, the way the news made my skin prickle and how really sad I was even though I had not been keeping up with anything NASCAR for years. I remember seeing Kevin Harvick for the first time, he was being interviewed about his thoughts on the passing of D.E. and this is when I discovered Bakersfield was home to Harvick. Little did I know that within 9 months I would be living in the same city #3 had raced his last lap, and a few years later dating a man who met Dale Earnhardt on that last day of his life.

There are a lot of parallels that keep dragging me back to NASCAR, it's like it's fate or sumpthin'...